Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Snow-Shoveling Goddess

Today I awoke to a beautiful white blanket of snow. Ah, a perfect lazy Sunday to stay in my pajamas and lounge around in the comfort of my warm home. Unfortunately, it then dawned on me that there was a considerable “to do list” lingering, and it needed to be completed before my girls were returned to me at 6 pm. At some point, it would be necessary to venture out into the arctic and drive to the dreaded grocery store, or I could stay in my pjs a little longer and clean my bathroom. Hmmm. Suddenly, getting dressed and heading out into the frigid world didn’t seem like such a bad option. Then, the inevitable question had arisen… to shovel, or not to shovel? Now for a Goddess, born and raised in California, shoveling snow is definitely not my forte. I escaped shoveling after the last snow storm, with warm temperatures melting everything the next day. I wasn’t so sure that luck would be on my side this time around. I made myself a bowl of oatmeal and a latte and checked the temperature; a balmy negative two, with highs reaching six degrees! Yikes, no chance of the snow melting anytime soon. Since I didn’t have my 4-wheel drive for the weekend, I knew what had to be done.

I sat in my warm kitchen sipping my latte, procrastinating a little longer, and admired the neighbors across the street clearing their driveway. They were like a well-oiled machine. How could this 60 year old couple move so fast and shovel with such precision? They were done in minutes. Then I looked next to their house and further down the street. All the houses in my sight had cleared driveways. Who were these people? Are they nuts? It wasn’t even 9 o’clock yet!

Well, on with it. This was one of those newly single-mom responsibilities that just had to get done, because no one else was going to do it but me. I reluctantly bundled up and opened my garage. Maybe someone would see me flailing awkwardly with my shovel, take pity, come to my rescue, and help finish the job. As I touched the shovel to the ground, I looked around, but alas, no knights in shining armor, or even other goddesses were in sight. I sighed, and clumsily pushed through the first pass. Much to my delight, I realized the snow was surprisingly light. By the next pass I became so warm that I didn’t even notice the sub-freezing temperatures. Although, I probably looked uncoordinated, and worked twice as slow as the native Coloradans, I did find some enjoyment in the process. I even ventured over to shovel my next-door neighbor’s sidewalk.

There is something so peaceful on a cold, snowy morning, when you are the only one outside. I took a deep breath of the frosty air and admired what I had accomplished. I appreciated how fortunate I was to have a driveway and sidewalks to shovel, and more importantly realized that this was yet one more thing that I could do on my own. When you are living on your own for the first time in years, there is always this nagging fear that you won’t be able to handle everything by yourself. And yes, even something as simple as shoveling snow can seem pretty daunting to a California girl. But, it just became one more thing to check off of my single-mom list, of “yeah, it’s no problem. Got it covered.”

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Goddess Is Born

It was only a few months ago that I found myself in a cluttered home, overwhelmed by life, without a career, and most frighteningly, a single mom of two. I had spent the last few years wallowing in self pity and doubt, but I knew that my early spring had arrived. It was time to take charge and literally reorganize my life. I started with the most obvious place, the bedroom closet. As I pulled out every single item of clothing, creating a mountain on my bed, I performed my own personal fashion show. I began to really look deeply and see what I really loved and wore often and what made me feel just ok or was rarely worn, if at all. The latter pile ended up in a bag destined for Good Will. As each item flew into the “bag of dismissal,” I began to feel something strange but familiar. It was almost a sensation of becoming lighter. I quickly became enthusiastic in my endeavor and started pulling shoes out and belts, and socks and tights and whatever other items were lurking in the dark corners of my closet.

Finally, it was completely empty. It was ready to be refilled with only the best of the best, and with the kind attention that only I could give my precious clothing. I began to put back work clothes and then casual clothes, followed by clothes that could double as both. There was a long pants section, a skirt section, and even my workout clothes earned their own special closet space. My shoes ended up in neatly labeled clear shoe boxes, fitted with digital pictures of the contents, attached neatly to the outside of the box. This way I would never, ever forget about those sassy red pumps that maybe were worn only a few times a year, but a definite necessity for special occasions.

Before long, my task was completed. I stood back and admired my beautiful masterpiece. Every piece of clothing had its special place, and because I am an extra special Virgo, everything was hung according to color as well. Not only did I feel a sense of accomplishment, I began to feel like me again; something that had been lost over the many years of playing the part of some idealized housewife and mother. Whose ideal was it? Well, I’m not so sure, and I guess that is why it was time to redefine myself. For some reason, this process needed to start with a complete overhaul of my belongings.
I quickly moved from room to room in my home and ripped everything out of closets, cabinets, bookshelves, storage rooms and more. Thoughts raced through my mind, “what else can I rearrange and make more functional? What else can I get rid of?” I created mountains upon mountains of everything in my house, while dancing to music, of course. As I sifted through each pile, I began asking myself, do I really need this? How important is it? If it was not loved or needed, it was tossed into the growing Good Will pile that had begun with just a few shirts. I organized my kitchen, my office, the kid’s room, the basement, the family room and every last hall closet. Three days later, it was done. I was free…. Free to live my life and move forward. It was my chance to start over and I was liberated.

As I began to show off my newly organized home to friends and family, I noticed how increasingly excited I became and felt the need to explain every organized system in great detail. Compliments began flooding in and subtle comments like “can you come do the same at my house” became increasingly common. Then it occurred to me; I really like doing this. I am really good at this. I have been an extremely organized person my whole life, but had forgotten who I was. I wanted to help my friends feel the same exhilarating freedom I felt and to have everything in its place. I wanted to give them a way to find more time to enjoy their families, homes and life. And why stop with those closest to me? At the risk of sounding too cheesy, I knew at that moment that I had a gift, and I wanted to share this gift with the world. And thus, The Organized Goddess was born…. or in a sense reborn, for she had always been within me.